Whether back home in New Zealand, a CouchSurfing meet up in Chiang Mai or on the trans-Siberian the beard that has become a part of me since September 2014 has definitely been a conversation starter (an obvious one) in all scenarios. Here’s a few comments on travelling with a beard.

1. Instant Respect From The Lads

“Maaaaaaaatttte, the is an epic beard” as well as many other phrases. Not everyone is graced with the ability to grow a beard and unfortunately most don’t have the guts to grow one if they can. They cite getting pass the itchy stage as their meager excuse to not growning one. I am growing it and it is well below the itchy phase, the lads know I’m not going to put up with any shit about a temporary itch.

2. Curious Locals

Back in April, I stayed in Battambang, Cambodia and went on a ride out to a local family my friend Seavyi knew. This was a real local experience out on their farm eating papaya, lotus and coconuts right from the source. The family were hilarious with it culminating in this, the mother wanting to feel the beard. Win.

She was fascinated and wanted to feel it haha

3. Photography Opps

This seems to happen in bars mostly but regularly people ask to take a photo with me. Normally one of them will have a beard of some description. Granted there is alcohol involved it is still funny. I remember running around Bagan with two tall Australian fellas and they were asked to have their photo taken a good amount, I would get asked to join in the photo cause of the beard (that or out of pity).

4. Greatest Leaders

While travelling through Russia it became apparent to me a hearty beard is a sign of a hearty leader. Most of them have moved on now, but their statues proudly display their beards. Maybe if Putin had a beard he would not lie so much to his people/world, that or grow a backbone, maybe.

Russia has produced some fine beards throughout history #beard #russia #boss

A photo posted by Jub (@tikitouringkiwi) on May 29, 2015 at 1:25am PDT

5. Sabotage Attempts

No one had attacked the beard in anyway until my seven days in the Gobi Desert. Our driver, Jagga had it in for the beard from the first night. Despite no English his charades clearly indicated he wanted the beard cut. This was followed with a lighter near the beard, a blow torch and the final attempt, a quick tazering which didn’t take me to ground. Thankfully. It was all in good fun though. Or jealousy, yea we’ll go with jealousy.

Then on the train, most Russians heading home after there one year of army service did not like the bed. One afternoon I was happily taking a nap only to wake up to giggles and scissors near the face. All in fun and games.

6. Are You A Muslim? Buddhist?

This is probably the funniest, randomly getting stopped in the street by even more random people asking if I’m Muslim (then some following up with Buddhist). I can see why they ask, but come on there are so many things wrong about it from a social point of view. Anyways, I just declare myself a kiwi have a laugh and carry on. Apparently France could be an interesting experience with the couple of terrorist attacks lately. I’m harmless, promise! Vegan even!

7. Chance To Be Groomed

I am currently horrible at this, I just cannot trust someone to trim the beard as I want it so it is going freestyle for now. I also ran out of my beard cream which is nice to put in every few days, most are made of natural ingredients and it is nice to get the beard singled out for smelling good. When you goto a place that specialises in beard trims, you get great banter; win, and a beard trim normally comes with a beer. Double win!

8. Sometime You Are Ignored

Overall I have found people are less likely to approach me in social situations. Is it scary or are they making judgements that I am gross or a drunk…I don’t know. But as soon as you start getting them talking they will open up in a heartbeat once they realise there isn’t a park bench reserved for me in a few hours time.

9. Become An Outlet For Advice

Over a Chang or four at the Chiang Mai Couch Surfing meet ups, there was numerous deep and meaningful’s about growing travel beards . Chiang Mai was the 1st stop for many on there OE and they were tossing up whether to grow one or not. Ultimately

10. You Waste Trees

Rice and soup are two foods I regularly eat but crikey they are a nightmare with the beard. No matter how slowly I bring the spoon/fork up to my gob (read: mouth) and how little food is on said spoon/fork there seems to be a few stray drops and grains implanting there way into the beard. To embarrass my fellow eating guests it would be easy to leave the clean up to the end, but as an amazingly nice person I always try to clean up on the go. Inevitably,

11. Chick Magnet

I’m not a player, going out getting drunk and picking up drunker chicks isn’t my gig. If it were, the beard would probably be gone. But in everyday life, it is polarising with the ladies, sadly the majority aren’t pro beard. What it does mean though is the ones who like them are very into them and you know they are good ladies to start with. The ultimate filter.

That’s enough for now. Do you travel with a beard? Why or why not? Send me some pics! My beard even made it onto the Snapchat ghost code for myself, scan the code below to get connected.

The beard as of July 17th 2015